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March: Heart, Soul and Hope
Welcome to March. I hope with spring comes brighter days filled with more sunshine and hopefulness. These recent days, I have honestly felt trapped in a stagnant place where there hasn't been an escape and needed to press forward toward a more welcoming light. I have been traveling down different roads and looking in other distinctive directions, hopeful for solace and sanctuary. I do hold onto my words and to my writing, knowing well there is some beauty left there, even if my heart continues to feel empty every day. My full-time work at the therapy clinic and school do keep me distracted from other enjoyable social activities...although I keep trying to reach out. I realize that it is a busy season for many of us, but I miss the camaraderie of different activities and of my closest friends— the ones like Bridget, who entered my life three years ago like a quiet whirlwind when I direly needed a sincere friend after Terry passed away. But even she, along with many others I have
Tragic Tears Laced in Grief
The day you were taken is still a blur. I still cannot bring myself to go back to that moment. All I know is time stood still and my heart shattered into a million pieces. The day you were taken was the hardest day of my life– and a part of me went with you. ❤ Years later, my grief still cries out into what feels like a hollow abyss. The pain is not as intense as it was in the beginning, but it lingers on inside the caverns of my fragile heart much like a loud, yet silent plea thrown out to someone else on a lifeboat before deep diving into the icy waters. You desire to completely drown but you cannot do it— and somehow, you have to keep on living. It never gets easier looking around you and realizing the one person you desperately need to lean on for support is no longer there, especially when your fragmented heart aches to pick up the phone to call her, or reach out for an embrace to feel safe and protected again. Life is never what it was after experiencing a devastating loss.
February: Faith and Light
Welcome to February. This month, I typically enter into a quiet and personal season of deep reflection and continued healing. February and March have always been a difficult time for me because I lost my momma and still miss her each and every day. As an aside, seasonal weariness and sorrow are also a very real thing, though the sun has finally come out after weeks of gloominess and it does help uplift my mood. I continue to keep positive as I slowly move forward, though often longing for spring and summer- while holding onto happier things and to treasure my blessings. It seems so simple, but it is not always as easy to keep in that mindset when you feel overwhelmed with sadness at times. I know both my momma and heart-dad would want me to follow my own path, hold onto my happiness and to meet my goals. I stay busy with various things, most notably with school— maintaining a 4.0 grade average I am still proud of, and helping one of my close friends plan her dream wedding in
January: Moving into the Light
Welcome to January. Another new year opens the door for fresh opportunities and changes. I remain as ever optimistic that whatever challenges life brings, I will face them all head on. I am sincerely looking forward to seeing what develops in 2024. I am also wrapping up another few semesters and nearing the end of another new chapter with my education. Granted, I still have four more classes to take, but it all feels quite unreal, regardless. I have not felt excitement in a long, long while, so it is a wonderful sort of feeling. As always, this lovely community gives me so much light and encouragement and I am beyond thankful. There were times I doubted I would make it very far but I succeeded in the end and this outcome speaks volumes. I should like to think that beautiful spirits such as @GeneratingHype have inspired me to move forward. I know long ago, Bill helped to pull me out of the darkness in the beginning and helped me find my voice on DeviantART— and without individuals
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So thrilled to see kathleenfergie on the list!